Tears of an Angel
by jensfairytail
Summary: CaptainSwan AU; She was pregnant, for a couple of weeks now and they still could not wrap their head around it. How they were blessed with the wonders of having a baby, how they deserved all this happiness and joy.


_There comes a time in your life, when your whole world breaks down, the life as you once knew falls to pieces, because of one tiny little mistake. When it feels like you just can't breathe, like the air is pressing on your chest and all you can do is gasp for air. When there are thousands and thousands of tiny pieces of glass crashing right into your heart… into your soul even. And the only thought running through your head.. is that it is your fault and there is nothing you can do about it anymore… you just have to live with the consequences. And in that moment you lose hope._

The snow felt down like the soft feathers from your favourite pillow, it was a cold winter day but a beautiful one, you could still see the sun shining through the clouds. Emma looked down at her feet as they walked, watching how the snow slowly melted under her feet as she put her foot on the ground. She was in awe, everything looked so beautifully peaceful and calming. She could not believe that nearly a year ago her life took the most twisted turn as she had to kill the man she loved, the man she still loves. How she went to the underworld to get her Killian back, when the unimaginable happened and she actually succeeded. And when finally everything was over and she had her Killian in her arms, another villain appeared, because what else could of happened it is and always will be Storybrooke. There will never be a moment of quiet and peace in this town, as though she thought. She had to protect the town against Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll and to make matters even worse the Evil Queen made an appearance. Being the Saviour was a fulltime job, that she could not quit. She was born as the Saviour and she will always be the Saviour. She knew that, her parents knew that, the whole town knew that. However, only Killian knew that she did not want to be the Saviour all the time. She wanted to be just Emma, but there was nothing that could change her fate.

But finally after all of these villains and curses and separations and deaths, there was finally some peace and quiet in Storybrooke. For exactly one year now, nothing has happened to Storybrooke and for Emma it all felt unreal, uneasy even. In her gut she knew that something was going to happen again, because the world never stops spinning and something bad was bound to happen. For example, Gold was still out there searching for more power. Although she was not too worried about him. She knew that she could handle him over and over again, because now she was not alone anymore. She had a family. And Killian, her true love.

"Are you alright love?" Killian asked her with a worried smile on his face while reaching for her hand. They were on a little walk in the woods, enjoying the silence and beauty of the fresh snow in the woods. "Of course… I'm just happy" she smiled while staring into his ocean blue eyes. She could get lost in those eyes, they were her home. Those same eyes made her feel warm and loved and they were there every time she needed them to be. She loved him, she loved him more than anything or anyone else. "And how is my little pirate, princess?" he asked again, a big happy grin plastered on his face while he laid his hand and hook on Emma's stomach. She was pregnant, for a couple of weeks now and they still could not wrap their head around it. How they were blessed with the wonders of having a baby, how they deserved all this happiness and joy. When she told Killian, she was so scared. Scared that he would run or would not find himself fit to be a father, even though deep down in her heart she knew that he would never do that. He was so happy as well as her parents and Henry, they were over the moon that their daughter finally got the happy ending she deserved. Even her father was honestly happy about the news, of course he was a bit sceptic he was still her father after all. But he could see the joy and love Killian brought into her eyes and that was all he could ever wish for.

"I think he or she is just fine." She laced her hands with Killian's on her slightly growing stomach. "I love you so much, both of you" Killian whispered in Emma's ear while pressing a soft kiss in her neck. "We love you too" Emma answered with a loving smile as she pressed her lips against his. Killian wrapped his arms around her hips, slowly caressing her body. A soft moan escaped her mouth and Killian pushed his tongue gently past her lips. She could not deny it, when she was around him, she just wanted to feel the passion and the fire growing between them. "We should go home" he whispered softly and almost not hearable against her lips as he gently pulled away from her. She nodded while licking her lip, reluctantly they let go if each other. "Yeah, we should" she whispered. They walked back to Emma's car. Killian looked up at the sky, dark clouds were gathering and you could see that a big snowstorm was coming. "Maybe we should wait in the car until it stops snowing" he was worried because the streets were nearly frozen and you could barely see anything. "No it's okay" Emma said. "I have done this before, I know how to drive in a snow storm, trust me." And he did, he always trusted her. He trusted her with her life for god's sake. But maybe this one time, he should not have trusted her.

When they drove back to Storybrooke, the snowstorm was getting wilder and it began to snow even harder. Big snowflakes blocked her view of the road and she could barely see anything. Killian had a bad feeling about this, but he did not say anything, she told him to trust her and he trusted her more than anything else. Still, it was really difficult for him to ignore this feeling in his gut. This feeling that something dreadful was about to happen. "What's wrong?" Emma looked at him. After all these years she could exactly read his face, as he could hers. "Nothing love, I'm fine" he smiled. She knew that he was lying, she always knew. Maybe because of her superpower or maybe because Killian just was not the best liar. "You know, that I know that you're lying, ri-" Her voice broke in the middle of the sentence. "Emma?" She clutched her stomach as she felt a terrible pain. It felt like someone stabbed her with a knife. 'The baby!' she thought. Tears were streaming down her face and she could not think straight, but she tried to concentrate on the road and the terrible snow storm they were driving in. Suddenly a loud scream escaped her mouth. "Emma!" Killian screamed. But it was too late. Emma lost control over the car and with a big crash, they drove right into a tree. The last thing Emma could remember before she lost consciousness, was the feeling of blood between her legs.

Slowly Emma opened her eyes and the first thing that came to her mind was Killian. "Killian" she whispered with a broken voice. She did not remember what happened, or how long she had been sleeping. But seeing her surroundings she knew that something was terribly wrong. "I'm here, love" he held her hand rubbing his thumb over hers. He had a cut on his head and he looked a little bruised but most noticeable were the tears streaming down his cheeks. She looked into his eyes and she remembered, the walk in the forest, the snow storm, the pain in her stomach. She crashed the car, they had an accident because of her. She remembered the pain and the blood and… her baby. Was her baby okay? Her eyes filled with tears. She looked down at her stomach all bruised from the accident. She did not have to ask the doctors or the nurses, she knew, she knew what happened to her baby. She could not get her head around it, she did not want to believe it. She lost her baby, the baby that was going to complete her little family with Killian.

"Where.. where.." she stuttered. Killian shook his head. "No.. no.." she whispered in disbelief. This could not be true. This was just a bad dream, a nightmare. She was going to wake up and everything was going to be fine. 'Wake up, Emma!" she thought. 'WAKE UP!' she started to cry, she could not breathe, the air was running out and she was drowning, drowning in her tears because she lost their baby. "It's my fault Killian... I lost the baby..." She should have listened to him, it was too dangerous to drive in that storm. If she would not have been so stubborn her baby would still be safely inside of her growing to become a beautiful boy or girl. "It's not your fault Emma... Don't blame yourself" He pulled her in a comforting hug and let her cry in his arms. Sharing the loss that they both felt, the loss of two parents who never got to be parents for their baby, two parents who in this moment lost hope.

 **Well, that was my first Story in English. My main language is German and idk, my english isn't that good. But I had much help from a friend on Twitter! ( CaptainSwanImagine) Thank you so much for your help! xx Also, her imagine inspired me to write this os.**

 **It is very short, I know. But I really hope that you liked it :)**

 **Love, Dana xx**


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